{"product_id":"love-poems-for-people-with-children-kenney-john","title":"Love Poems for People with Children Kenney, John","description":"Product Description      \nIn the spirit of his wildly popular New Yorker pieces and the New York Times bestseller Love Poems for Married People, Thurber-prize winner John Kenney presents a hilarious new collection of poetry for people with children.\n\nWith the same brilliant wit and hilarious realism that made\nLove Poems for Married People such a hit, John Kenney is back with a brand new collection of poems, this time taking on the greatest \"joy\" in life: children. Kenney covers it all, from newborns, toddlers, and sleep deprivation, to the terrible twos, terrible tweens, and terrible teens. A parent's love is unconditional, but sometimes that button can't help but be pushed. Between back to school shopping, summer vacations that never end, the awkwardness of puberty, the inevitable post-college moving back in, and more, a parent's job is never done, whether they like it or not.\n      Review      \nOne of Fredericksburg Free Lance Star's Best Books of 2019 \n\n“Packed full of laugh-out-loud poems that are all too relatable if you are married with kids—or just married.” \n–The Washington Post\n\n“[A] hilarious look into parenting.”\n—TODAY \n\n\"Kenney's sweet, funny poems about the banal and everyday—too-true nods to the intimacy of sharing a bed with someone without touching at all, or the nothing-speak of corporate communication—make great presents for spouses, friends, and work wives.\" \n—Vanity Fair\n\n“Often profound, often hilarious, Kenney captures what it's like to raise a human being from the ground up.”\n—Cleveland Scene“[\nLove Poems for People with Children] will be immediately relatable to all parents and a much needed laugh. So the next time you're hiding out in a public restroom, like the subject in one of the poems, give this book a read.”\n—Parkersburg News \u0026amp; Sentinel“Perfect as a stocking stuffer for that soon-to-be-parent or the already-a-parent-I-never-realized-how-good-my-hair-looked-unshowered-for-four-days on your holiday list....These little gems make life glow a little brighter.”\n—Fredericksburg Free Lance Star\n      About the Author      \nJohn Kenney is the\nNew York Times bestselling author of the humorous poetry collection\nLove Poems for Married People, and the novels\nTalk to Me and\nTruth in Advertising, which won the Thurber Prize for American Humor. He has worked for many years as a copywriter. He has also been a contributor to\nThe New Yorker magazine since 1999. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.\n      Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.      \nMy six-year-old got hold of my phone\n \nMy apologies, Reverend.\n \nMy six-year-old\n \ngot hold\n \nof my phone\n \nand sent you\n \n142\n \npoop emojis.\n \nPlease know\n \nthat this in no way\n \nreflects my opinion of you\n \nor the Church.\n \n(Although it does make me wonder if there is a god.)\n \nTo my father-in-law, Lou.\n \nNo grandparent should ever receive\n \na GIF of Fabio not wearing pants\n \ndancing suggestively\n \nwith the words\n \nLet's get it on!\n \nI was sure I had deleted that.\n \nTo my boss, Gary.\n \nDid you happen to receive a photo\n \nof a baboon's ass\n \nwith a note reading\n \nFound this picture of you?\n \nI sent that one.\n \nIf there were a job interview to have children\n \nThe interviewer might say\n \nI see here that you want children.\n \nAnd you might say, Yes! I'm ready.\n \nGreat. Are you happy in your marriage?\n \nVery. My wife is amazing.\n \nGood for you. Just a couple of questions. When's the last time you went to hear live music?\n \nTwo weeks ago. Last-minute thing. Saw a jazz band.\n \nLast time on a plane?\n \nParis, I think. Yes. We went to Paris for four days.\n \nDid you sleep on the plane?\n \nYes. It was an overnight flight.\n \nDid anyone throw up on you at any time?\n \nNo. Of course not. Why?\n \nDid anyone on the plane wake you suddenly by screaming in your face?\n \nWhat? No.\n \nMay I ask about the frequency of your sex life?\n \nAverage, I guess. Five or six times a week.\n \nHow wonderful. I'd like you to take this paper from me. Do you feel anything?\n \nWhat the hell . . . what","brand":"G.P. Putnam's Sons","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49823278203137,"sku":"YE-5JKZ-NCJR","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/shophfd.com\/products\/love-poems-for-people-with-children-kenney-john","provider":"High Five Distributing","version":"1.0","type":"link"}